♥ Completely

♥ Completely

    Image Source: http://leloveimage.blogspot.com/2010/03/live-dream-love.html

Don't Let The Bad Man Shoot You...

Don't Let The Bad Man Shoot You...


Ok, not gonna lie. I'm a little scared. But more entertained, cause this is basically just like television, only better!

When we lived in Canada, there was nothing to be scared of. Ever. When we left our little igloo to go out and hunt the beavers or ride the polar bears, we literally never ever locked our doors. But at the same time, there was hardly anything to get excited about. People get worked up over the tiniest things; like I seriously remember the front page news one time was about some douche canoe who held up a convenience store for a pack of cigarettes and a bag of chips... I was all, really? I just wasted 4 minutes of my life to read that? Dane Cook jokes about it, but its no joking matter. People literally run out to the street without shoes at the sound of the slightest commotion... "I was in the kitchen cleaning a dish, I was cleaning, and I heard it so I came out. What? Shoes? Haha shoes, hahaha listen to this guy with the shoes!" 

So ever since moving to the You Ess of Aye I sort of, a little bit miss our old, non-exciting lives. The only place I ever really feel safe here is under my bead in my room and in Costco. They have a strict no guns policy so I know im free from danger when at Costco. 

Then today. To make things worse for my slight worryment...is that a word? It sounds right, so yeah my Mom gets a call from my dad who is at work and who never usually shows any sign of panic but who I can tell is a little bit panicked, and all I can hear is Mom's side of the conversation:

Hello?


WHAT?


How do you KNOW?


Like they've escaped or its in progress right now?


How do you know he's a bad guy?


He's wearing a MASK??


Ok, we'll don't let them shoot you.


Oh, could you get eggs on the way home.


No, just eggs. 


The little ones. 


That are white.


Not the brown ones.


I don't know, I guess I've always bought white eggs so thats just what I think you should buy.


Just get white eggs, its what the kids are used to. 


Yep. 


K Bye.




LOL. I was all, whaaaat... for reealz?? I guess that's just part of living down here. You don't get alarmed at things like that anymore because, well, no one actually got killed. Just that dad got shot at, mid combat roll while he was trying to flee the scene all stealth mode. So yeah, there's that.


But he's fine cause he's actually Superman. Pretty sure of it. So I guess I really have nothing to be afraid of when I live with Superman. 

Disclaimer:Jaykay he didn't get shot at and he's provably not actually superman.

Roman Mikhail

Roman Mikhail

Roman is the smartest kid I have ever met. He's way way ahead of me and he's only 5. Actually 5 and a half which is the same as 5 just a little bit more and when he's 10 he plans to get a dog because then he will be old enough and he will have more time for it but at the moment his schedule is a bit too full with his 5 girlfriends, one of which is his mom. (DUH) Also, in case you were a little unclear, electricity is something that if you break it, it will kill you. Roman's dad works at an art gallery as the curator, which consists of sitting at his desk most of the day and sometimes having parties. 


If I could, I would spend everyday discussing important matters with Roman. Any kid who can count to 10 in spanish, recites poetry and practices yoga at the age of 5 is definitely going to be ok in life. 

For the record I did suggest he get dressed before we made the pizza but that did not at all resemble the details in his day planner. Roman had planned, next to item 12 NOON,  MAKE PIZZA FULLY NUDE.

Awesomeness Today

 awesomeness today

UnhappyHipsters - IT'S LONELY IN THE MODERN WORLD 
The black hole had sucked everything out of the playroom. Save his sister or the coloring books? He made a split-second decision. (Photo: John Clarke; Dwell, October 2008)

At first, she had attributed the strange scribble on the blackboard to her forgetful memory. Now she descended the stairs each morning with dread, petrified of what the poltergeist wanted to communicate today.(Photo: Elsa Young; Dwell, May 2008)

Without the shades, they might have to face the terrifying prospect of actually speaking to one another.   
(Photo: Dean Kaufman; Dwell, September 2009)

The Oatmeal.com

The following are GOLD.

LOL@ BrianBabyBlues

Nick Holmes = Genius

I want that.

Worth Doing

Words to Live By

Words to Live By




I liked this today...


People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

--Mother Teresa has this posted on her wall.

Sore Town

Sore Town

I hit my head yesterday while boarding at Sunrise and I think it jiggled my brain around a little too much in the process because I just microwaved my cereal. Last night should have been the first clue that I had a mild concussion when, even after swallowing a nice little concoction of Tylenol, Aleive and Excedrins, my head was still constantly throbbing in excruciating pain. It felt like someone used my head as a wrecking ball in demolishing the solid concrete walls of a steel vault factory.

And what's odd is, I thought everything was good. I mean, we followed proper protocol of checking for head injury after severe pwnage by mountain. My dad examined my pupils and interrogated me. He asked what my plate number was, which I definitely don't know- even on a good day; and he asked when I arrived in Arizona, which he doesn't even know. But that's ok, A for effort Dad! So he decided I was fine and I concurred. And later I even did some research on Wikipedia which is basically like, 99% fact. I didn't find out anything about concussions but I did discover that if you make a fist with your hand, your heart is about that size. And a whale's heart is roughly 400 times that size.

So then I'm lying in bed at 2 AM, thinking about the day and trying to decipher between reality and my strange made-up hallucinations. We drove out to Sunrise and shredded up the slopes- that was real. Then we hit up the park and I went over a 20 foot ramp an pulled a huge switch frontside rodeo 540; that was definitely real. And then there was a dumb fat kid on his dumb fat skis that crashed into me, resulting in my head hitting the ground extremely hard. Pretty sure that was real. Then we saw the pigs wandering around in the parking lot. And they didn't even look like pigs, more of a werewolf/pig. So, there were the werepigs. And then santa robbed a bank and got killed? And he was also a leprechaun? Really?

I finally fell asleep because all the thinking was making my brain hurt too much. My poor, swollen, bruised brain. But YAY... I woke up this morning! And thats a good thing because apparently if you have a concussion and fall asleep you could die and never wake up. Or something. So I must be okay after all. Theres just this reeaaally really intense headache and it hurts to sneeze, cough, laugh, shoulder check, itch my back, brush my teeth, make a sandwich, put my hair in a pony tail, reach for anything over waist-height, move, talk and breathe. Also I have a much stronger hate-on for skiers now. 

Oh ya, and I love how chairlift conversations always go with skiers. Like, they've never met you and 2 seconds into the conversation they already hate you and every generation of your entire family.

Me: Wow this is super great weather today, huh?

Cool Ski Dude: Yep, not bad. How long you been snow-boarding for?

Me: For about like 10 years- My whole family is here, we all board together. Even my mom and dad who are old.

Cool Ski Dude: Oh ya? Well i've been skiing since I was in my mother's fetus and I can do every trick known to man.

Me: Ummm, neat-o there ski dude!

Not-So Cool Ski Dude Anymore: YAA I'm super fast and amazing and I can ride down a black diamond at 30 mph! Also I love neon lycra! AAHH!

Me: Cool.

Ski Dude: I WILL CUT YOUR THROAT!

Anyways, I cant remember much of the last couple days but here's some photos. Apparently I was at this place with these people. And It may or may not have been fun.

Video made by Jeff Borys of the whole fam doin our thang. And I must warn you- HOLY we look like olympians out there LOL! (I recommend you pause the Playlist music before playing it)

Apparently this guy was also there. I don't even need to ask him to know that he had an awesome time.

And it turns out the werepigs were real because I took pictures so there's proof. Looking back, I'm not sure why we didn't get out and ride them, or at the least chase them down. MINUS 10 POINTS FOR ME!


Am I not right?? WEREPIG!

And the leprechaun/santa bank robbery story, also true. I googled it and there it was.
'Leprechaun & Santa Dead, No More Presents or Gold for Anyone LOLZ'

Today I ♥ Alexa Mulberry

Today I ♥ Alexa Mulberry

Oh, how I would do anything for an Alexa Mulberry bag.

Not so much the salon cape. I mean, I like it a tiny bit, but I would never harm a baby in any way for it. However, I would seriously do anything at all for the bag.

I also love the Chloe shoes with a significant amount of my heart, but the bag. Just look at it! It makes my knees go weak and my hear skips a few beats whenever I see one.

(Photo found on The Sartorialist)

Art.

Art

I'm really reaaally glad my other siblings managed to fill the intellectual and scholarly academic-junkie position. Kidding. Its not a bad thing at all, college is 100% awesome if you're into that kind of thing. And I do like learning, don't get me wrong. I just detest sitting in a classroom... at a desk... inside! Also, I have a huge hate-on for studying and having to use my brain for long periods of time. I remember the last exam I took in the last class I ever had and the feeling afterward that was unlike anything I could describe, like I'd just been let out of a prison I had been in since I was five years old.

So yeah, why do I not want to go back? In my opinion, school is equal to prison. No, worse than prison. So in actuality, prison is greater than school. In school you have to write exams and get good grades and be nice to everyone. At least in prison you can vandalize stuff and hit people.

However, my broheezee is totally into college and learning and all that noise, which is definitely a good thing because otherwise my parents would have to make up an imaginary child to brag about. I was actually consoled once by my mother with these words: 'Well at least you're good with the internets, right"? OMG, YAY! GOLD STAR FOR ME! LOL

But srsly, check out his online portfolio. Jefferson Designs. IMO, this is art. It's so eye-pleasing; definitely goes firmly under the column of My Favorite Thing Today. Jeff is taking the prerequisites right now to get into Graphic Design at ASU. He enjoys poetry and long walks on the beach. Maybe you want some custom designed art for your walls, inspired by his long walks on the beach.

Lackoparcelphobia

Lackoparcelphobia

I have lackoparcelphobia. Its an actual legitimate condition; a fear of going long periods of time without receiving a UPS delivery.


Coincidentally, while researching this 100% true, not-at-all-made-up phobia, I also discovered the names of my other two phobias. Frigophobia; being afraid of the cold. And ergophobia; the fear of the workplace environement and office furniture. Namely, filing cabinets. So this is why I must stay in a warm climate and away from offices or workplace environments where my phobia could be triggered and I could seize up and die.

Anyways, UPS.

Did you know that UPS is the largest package delivery company in the entire world and they ship over 15 million packages a day? Which isn't particularly interesting. What is interesting, however, is that the UPS ads that they've made feature a man in a lady wig. It's true. And i've always had a thing for guys with long hair so if the man in the lady wig ever shows up at my doorstep, I won't hesitate for a second before letting him whisk me off into the sunset is his dependable brown van. Yep. I would marry the UPS guy. I mean, we're basically already BFF... he visits our house so often that I can recognize the sound of his truck coming from blocks away. Of course I always play it off, casually sauntering over to the door all, 'Oh is it for me? Who could it be?' But were totally MFOE. He knows it and I know it.

Last fall I dropped a lens worth more than my firstborn (which I don't have but if I did and I dropped it I could probably get it fixed for a LOT less than it cost me to fix my lens). As I watched it smash and break into a million little pieces I realized this was the last of several things that The Universe has directed my way to say, "dude (yes, The Universe calls me "dude") you gotta be more careful! Be aware, Take care, yo! You don't have to store your equipment in a army grade aluminum case, but you definitely need to invest in a camera bag". So I found this fabulous new mini bag, small and lightweight enough to carryon when I go traveling to Paris and New York and places like such as; also perfect for shoots. I found it on Etsy from a sweet shop called Xcessrise.

Also exciting; my Moo MiniCards finally came. They're custom designed by Sarah Green and I'm pretty sure she created every pattern specially with me in mind. Pretty sure. They're so me; so mod slash metro. Modtro. I aspire to one day wallpaper every room in my house (approximately 35 or 40 rooms... because i'll be living in a castle...duh!) using every one of these rad patterns. So yeah, they're awesome and I love them with all my heart. Go here if you want some.

Alyssa - Senior Photography

Alyssa - Senior Photography

A couple weeks ago I photographed Alyssa. She has the cutest smile and these legs that go on for days. Maybe even weeks. So it was absolutely no challenge at all to make her look good.

And apparently God was on holidays the day she was created and his replacement forgot that one person cannot have both beauty and brains, because this girl has it all. She will be graduating from the College of Liberal Arts & Sciences in May with a BA degree in Psychology and a BA degree in Sociology, and she plans to attend law school in the fall.

Yeah, no bigs.